That’s me on the left.
Especially the teens. Where are your coats, teens?!
This is bathroom graffiti I saw in Toronto. It took me a full minute to realize it’s not being sarcastic.
And they’re as thick as carpets.
Here’s an actual conversation I overheard in Toronto:
“Sorry, has anyone taken your order?”
“Sorry, I can take it now.”
“Sorry, we didn’t know to call you over.”
“No, no, sorry, that’s my fault.”
And then maple syrup leaked out of their twitching eyes while they grinned at each other for a moment too long.
Don’t look at me like that when I’m ordering a coffee, it’s freaking me out.
It’s ok, you can stop listing them. You had me after “Neil Young.”
They’re also oddly wary of Alaska. Someone said to me, “Alaska makes me nervous.”
Whattup wit DAT?
According to the drunk people who enthusiastically directed me there at 1 am. (Apparently they found the mythical liquor store).
I don’t know what I was expecting.
Like, spookily clean. What are you hiding, Toronto?
I guess the maple leaf is to Canadians what that blocky/pointy “S” thing is to school-age Americans.
One of them said to me, “Good for him, you know?”
If you’re into, like, general pleasantness and all that stuff.