Back to Top

27 Things Jews Are Tired Of Hearing On Passover

Can’t we all just agree that matzoh is actually not good?

1. “Happy Passover! Wait. Do you say ‘Happy Passover’?”

27 Things Jews Are Tired Of Hearing On Passover

View this image ›

Nickelodeon / Via nickelodeon.tumblr.com

Yes, yes you can.

2. “What’s Passover about again?”

27 Things Jews Are Tired Of Hearing On Passover

View this image ›

Columbia Pictures / Via jamiepandahugs.tumblr.com

Here’s a Haggadah. Read on.

3. “So, is this the one where you fast?”

27 Things Jews Are Tired Of Hearing On Passover

View this image ›

Bravo / Via realitytvgifs.tumblr.com

Nope.

4. “Oh, it’s the one where you can’t have bread?”

27 Things Jews Are Tired Of Hearing On Passover

View this image ›

Reprise Records / Via fuckyeahidinagifs.tumblr.com

Yes, among many other things.

5. “But you can have, like, everything else, right?”

Comedy Central via guh-gifgarden.tumblr.com

 

More like NOTHING else.

6. “Wait, what can’t you eat again?”

27 Things Jews Are Tired Of Hearing On Passover

View this image ›

NBC / Via scarringstars.tumblr.com

Anything with wheat, oats, rye, barley, rice, corn, beans, lentils, peas, soybeans, peanuts, or sesame seeds (to name a few ingredients) is off the table.

7. “And how long is it for?”

27 Things Jews Are Tired Of Hearing On Passover

View this image ›

Via awesomelyluvvie.com

Eight horrible bread (and more)-less days.

8. “Then you get eight days of presents, right? Like Hanukkah.”

27 Things Jews Are Tired Of Hearing On Passover

View this image ›

Lionsgate / Via ianwanda.tumblr.com

If by present you mean constipation, then yes, yes you do.

9. “Oh, well, that’s not that hard. We have to give up something for Lent for 40 days.”

27 Things Jews Are Tired Of Hearing On Passover

View this image ›

Fox / Via pandawhale.com

BUT THAT IS ONLY ONE THING.

10. “Don’t you drink a lot of wine, though?”

27 Things Jews Are Tired Of Hearing On Passover

View this image ›

DreamWorks Pictures / Via gif-central.blogspot.com

Have you ever had Manischewitz? ‘Tis hardly wine.

11. “You’re so lucky. You get to leave work early!”

NBC via tayorps.tumblr.com

 

I would rather be here.

12. “I love matzoh!”

27 Things Jews Are Tired Of Hearing On Passover

View this image ›

Via gifhunterress.tumblr.com

Oh, really? DO YOU?!

13. “Can I have a piece of your matzoh?”

27 Things Jews Are Tired Of Hearing On Passover

View this image ›

Fox / Via whateveryousaysummer.tumblr.com

Seriously? This is the only thing I have for lunch!

14. “Oh, it’s the plain kind? The everything one is really good.”

27 Things Jews Are Tired Of Hearing On Passover

View this image ›

USA Films / Via duckieoverblane.tumblr.com

The everything one is also not kosher for Passover.

15. “Can I have a piece of your Bazooka gum?”

27 Things Jews Are Tired Of Hearing On Passover

View this image ›

Paramount Pictures / Via tigershout.tumblr.com

Again, this is only thing I have getting me through the day.

16. “I haven’t had this in forever!”

27 Things Jews Are Tired Of Hearing On Passover

View this image ›

Buena Vista Pictures / Via perezhilton.tumblr.com

Because who would choose gum that loses its flavor in a matter of seconds?

17. “Ugh, the comic’s in Hebrew?”

27 Things Jews Are Tired Of Hearing On Passover

View this image ›

CBS / Via giphy.com

Yep. It’s for Passover.

18. “What does it say?”

giphy.com

 

God knows. It has no vowels!

19. “You can’t even read Hebrew?”

27 Things Jews Are Tired Of Hearing On Passover

View this image ›

AMC / Via whatshouldmadmencallme.tumblr.com

Not since my Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

20. “You’re leaving work early again?! But Dan’s Jewish and he’s not leaving.”

27 Things Jews Are Tired Of Hearing On Passover

View this image ›

Paramount Pictures / Via meansnothing4u.tumblr.com

Well, Dan’s actually not that Jewish, seemingly.

21. “Why aren’t you having any of Ali’s birthday cake?”

27 Things Jews Are Tired Of Hearing On Passover

View this image ›

Via niggology.tumblr.com

Because it includes the earlier ingredients I mentioned!

22. “Want to go get pizza?”

Warner Bros. via cinemamonamour.tumblr.com

 

SERIOUSLY?!

23. “Wait, you can’t have pizza?!”

27 Things Jews Are Tired Of Hearing On Passover

View this image ›

United Artists / Via hoppip.tumblr.com

Unless Sbarro’s is now serving matzoh, no, I cannot.

24. “Why aren’t you coming to after-work drinks?”

27 Things Jews Are Tired Of Hearing On Passover

View this image ›

NBC / Via imsirius.tumblr.com

Do you know what’s in alcohol?

25. “Can I have a piece of your chocolate?”

27 Things Jews Are Tired Of Hearing On Passover

View this image ›

NBC / Via karamigo.tumblr.com

You’ve already had my matzoh and Bazooka. Why not?

26. “Ew. This tastes weird.”

Lionsgate via masquesous.tumblr.com

 

YES, BUT IT’S ALL I HAVE!

27. “What are you doing for Easter?”

27 Things Jews Are Tired Of Hearing On Passover

View this image ›

Via thegifhunter.tumblr.com

Wishing I could eat your chocolate instead of that shit.

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/jaimieetkin/27-things-jews-are-tired-of-hearing-on-passover

Comments

Write a comment

*