I’m a recluse as much as the next guy… At least, that’s what I thought.
After a recent move to a city that welcomed one too many nights out and one too many clubs to name, I came to the harsh realization that my aversion to nights out and the company of others was not normal and I was coming off as, well, rude.
I thought there was nothing wrong with choosing to spend Friday night in the company of myself and my empty apartment.
I thought it was okay to enjoy walking alone more than with a friend. I thought it was healthy to relish in all those moments of solitude.
To people trying to be my friend, or at least use me as a pawn in their game of nights out, I was the antithesis of everything they wanted.
I tried to make myself go out more, push myself to spend Friday nights in the company of others and try to enjoy all that mindless chit chat that came with money spent on too many drinks.
Soon, I began to hate myself and those around me. I started worrying about insignificant nonsense that shouldn’t bother me.
And after one too many nights spent around everyone but myself, I decided that enough was enough and I would spend as much time alone as I goddamn please.
I like my company, even if it’s just a little too much, because there’s something beautiful about being at peace with yourself. There’s something comforting about knowing I can come home to myself every night and love it.
There should be more respect for people who can relish in themselves. There should be more admiration for those who aren’t scared of being alone.
There should be some nice words about the loners and the introverts who are content with themselves and don’t need anyone to feel better.
Because loving your alone time is many times a lot healthier than hating it. Those who bask in their own company are the ones with significantly fewer worries than those who need to be around people to fill that void.
The loners, introverts and asocial people of the world are the ones spending their time creating and growing from themselves, rather than worrying about what everyone else is thinking.
People who like to be alone are more secure than those who are so good at showing face. They are the ones who are never second guessing their actions or working on their appearance.
They don’t care what people think of them because they, themselves, are their harshest critics.
The only times people who like their alone time are going out is with people who deserve their shared time. They don’t spend it with people who will judge them or people they worry about taking what they said the wrong way.
They don’t spend hours lying in their beds thinking about what they said or didn’t say back there. They are confident around the people they choose to talk to.
People who enjoy their own company are not the types to put on airs. They never have to act like they have something to prove because they never have anyone to prove anything to.
When you meet them, you will see they are completely themselves, because that’s who matters to them. If you don’t like them, that’s just one fewer person they need to worry about hanging out with.
They don’t sit in bed wishing they didn’t have to go to a party where they hate most of the people just so they won’t spend Saturday night stuck with their own thoughts.
They never replace alone time with empty interactions. Their solitude is never rationalized or bargained for by trivial moments with undeserving people.
They don’t have that irrational fear of never finding someone. If anything, they fear they will never understand how to share their alone time.
They don’t date people just for the company or settle for unfulfilled love just so they won’t end up alone.
Because they’re not constantly putting themselves around others, they’re not constantly searching for new topics and talking points.
They know who they are and what they like and they don’t have to pretend to be interested in things just to keep the conversation going.
They never have fear of missing out because there’s no place they’d rather be than with themselves. They don’t find it a wasted evening when they don’t go out.
In fact, they see it as the opposite. In our hectic schedules, getting a night to ourselves is easier said than done.
They search for meaning in themselves and take pride in that relationship. They don’t need to feel validated by the significant others they’re supposed to have.
They make sure they are completely in love with themselves before they worry about finding someone else to love.
They spend their alone time exploring all the unexamined spaces of their mind. They don’t go to parties or friends’ houses wishing they could just have a moment to think, alone.
They are constantly thinking and constantly wondering. They are never without moments to ponder those questions that need time.
Their lives are complete by themselves. They don’t have to name drop or worry about being cool enough around the people they’re with because they don’t care about impressing current company or making new acquaintances.
They aren’t about collecting friends or racking up phone numbers. They know who they are and there’s no need to exaggerate about that.
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It