Think of the best thing you’ve ever tasted in your entire life. Close your eyes and imagine the joy of that experience. Try to remember everything about it. The subtleties of the flavor. The feeling of your head exploding with unparalleled, foodgasmic joy. The fervor with which you dove in for another bite. Now where were you when this happened?
If you answered McDonald’s, kindly punch yourself in the face. Hard. If you’re unable to properly and violently punch yourself in the face (wimp), go stand on a street corner yelling racial epithets until someone does it for you.* McDonald’s seems like an impossible answer to that question, but for one sick and deranged person out there it must be true, because someone just bought a gallon of “McDonald’s McJordan BBQ Sauce” for $9,995 off of ebay.
The McJordan was a short-lived promotional item from 1992. It was a quarter-pounder with bacon, cheese, the aforementioned McJordan barbecue sauce, onions, mustard and pickles. According to the ebay listing these were all of Michael’s “favorite ingredients.” And now that the sauce is out there, someone could potentially recreate a seasonal food item from the Clinton administration. That’s an opportunity that you just can’t pass up if you’re a sociopath who lives in your grandma’s attic.
Who would want a terrible 20-year-old gallon of sauce? Who would spend that much money on anything from McDonald’s? Who would be so financially reckless?
Oh my God. Someone taught Michael Jordan how to use ebay. With that competitive streak, he’ll be broke in no time.
*BuzzFeed Sports does not recommend doing this.