Alcohol may increase aggression, but this person came to the party to start something. Before the night is over, someone’s hair is getting pulled.
Isn’t it great how alcohol turns you into James Bond? Except that only happens in your head. In real life, what you think is charm is actually just you being sloppy.
Is it over a relationship? The stresses of school? The last episode of The Vampire Diaries? Irrelevant. All that matters is that when this person starts sobbing, there’s no stopping.
If you’re lucky, the vomit ends up in your toilet. Otherwise, it’s going in your sink, on your furniture, or — if the timing’s just right — your shoes.
Just smile and nod. Smile and nod.
This isn’t just annoying: it’s INCREDIBLY dangerous. Being a DD is a big responsibility. Yes, it’s a pain sometimes, but getting drunk when you’re the head of the carpool is total asshole behavior.
Ugh, drunk texting is the worst. See also: drunk dialing, drunk tweeting, drunk blogging. Just go to bed.
Oh, did you not want pee all over your floor? Sorry…
Oh, you don’t mind, do you? P.S. Tomorrow’s killer hangover ensures your unwelcome houseguest will be staying put for quite some time.
Hey, no judgment, but remember the dangerous effect of beer goggles. Only make out with people you’d also make out with sober!
Just admit it. WE ALL KNOW.
The only thing worse than bragging about how not drunk you are is doing the opposite. Yes, we’re all drinking — no one is surprised that alcohol is impairing your motor skills. But go ahead and tell the world. I’m sure someone gives a crap.
Remember those plans you made earlier? Your drunk friend doesn’t. Expect a slurred apology voicemail or perhaps an incoherent text.
It’s so easy to bond when you’re both wasted. And so very difficult to care that much once you’re sober.
Go ahead and have that heartfelt conversation. Just don’t be surprised when it’s never referenced again.