Because of popular shows like Oz and Orange is the New Black, everyone thinks they know what it would be like to be locked up in the slammer. But here are some facts that just might surprise you.
No matter how much you ask, they won’t ever let you leave, even if it’s for something really important.
No Sealy or Sleep Number beds here your highness. And if you love body pillows, you’ll absolutely hate prison.
They won’t even let you bring your favorite controller since it could easily be used as a deadly weapon or a rape doohickey.
The worst thing that can happen in a prison shower is that you’re the guy who keeps jumping in and out of the water because it keeps going from hot to cold.
In prison, no one can hear you scream or do your really great Lenny Kravitz impression.
If couldn’t slam dunk outside the slammer, you can’t slam dunk inside the slammer.
The drama doesn’t end behind bars. There is so much he said this and he said that and he did this to a little kid and he did that at a cop’s funeral that it never ends!
The real frustration is knowing that with a little extra work, it could actually be great.
Prison guards are the elephants of correctional institutions, they never forget. And trust me, they will also never let you hear the end of it.
With so many inmates, and people always coming and going, in prison it is almost impossible to form any long lasting relationships. Behind bars, friendships are a fleeting thing.
On the outside, we construct for ourselves our own prisons, where societal obligations and restrictions form the walls and bars. We shackle ourselves to careers we care nothing about and people we care nothing for. The quest for more and more dictates each of our lives as we race for a destination we can never actually reach. On the outside, nothing is good enough, love isn’t real and no man is ever truly free.