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13 Perfect Comebacks From Helena On “Orphan Black”

The manic Orphan Black clone really has a way with words. A useful resource for dealing with conflict in your everyday life!

1. When someone makes you angry, but she’s not there to yell at:

13 Perfect Comebacks From Helena On “Orphan Black”

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Eat her muffin.

2. When someone won’t give you the names of the clones you’re trying to murder:

13 Perfect Comebacks From Helena On “Orphan Black”

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Eat toast at her. It’s called symbolic violence, and it works.

3. When someone spanks a child you’re fond of:

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Because nothing gets your point across like a well chosen simile!

4. When someone rudely changes positions so they don’t have to look at your face:

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Sometimes it’s best to let your ass do the talking.

5. When someone locks you in a cellar:

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Run opposition with your opposable thumbs!

6. When someone handcuffs you but still has the audacity to ask you an important question:

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FOOL.

7. When someone tells you to go to hell and then tries to smother you:

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“Sleep now.” Simple. To the point.

8. When you have a chance to talk to your would-be assassin about her incompetence:

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No words, just chuckles.

9. When a guy can’t take “you’re a bad goat” for an answer:

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Don’t put up with his bullshit whining, either.

10. When someone totally annoying is trying to help you:

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BESTIALITY BURN.

11. When someone implies your singing isn’t good.

13 Perfect Comebacks From Helena On “Orphan Black”

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Sing louderrrrrr

12. When someone stereotypes your culture:

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CULTURE IS NOT A COSTUME

13. When you’re trying to torture and kill the person who’s implanting your fertilized eggs in other women without permission and he starts giving you lip:

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“This is not a pipe I’m holding at a rakish angle between my teeth. It’s a signifier of your doom.”

And of course, follow it up with the best comeback of all.

13 Perfect Comebacks From Helena On “Orphan Black”

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Burn his house to the ground! Damn, Helena, you sure know how to win an argument.

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/arianelange/helena-comebacks-orphan-black-tatiana-maslany

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