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18 Things You Should Never Say To A Pizza Lover

1. “We ran out of pizza.”


What– Wait… NO! Why didn’t anyone order more pizza?! THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING! THIS IS HORRIBLE! I CAN’T BREATHE!

2. “Hey guys! We brought Little Caesars!”

Universal Pictures

I appreciate the effort… but this $5 nonsense should be ashamed to call itself pizza.

3. “There’s this great vegan pizza spot we should totally try out.”

The words vegan and pizza should never be uttered in the same sentence. Sorry vegans.

4. At 11:01 p.m.: “Oh. They only deliver until 11:00 p.m.”

The struggle, yo.

5. “If it’s OK with you guys, I’m taking the last slice.”


No, it’s not OK. You’re the devil. I hate you.

6. “OK GUYS! Pizza’s here. But you can only have two slices each.”


How dare you restrict my pizza consumption.

7. That one person in your friend group: “Ugh. I had pizza last night. Let’s get something else.”

You should be GRATEFUL you’re having it again today!

8. “Pizza is so overrated.”

20th Century Fox

No. Your face is overrated.



Pizza is pizza everywhere and it should never be discriminated against. HAVING SAID THAT, L.A. pizza kinda sucks.

10. “So what’s better? New York thin crust or Chicago deep dish?”



11. “Can you pass the guac? I want my pizza Cali-style.”

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No. WTF is this? What’s wrong with a REGULAR GODDAMN PEPPERONI PIZZA.

12. “You want to get some ‘za?”

Comedy Central

Apparently, some people are too lazy to refer to pizza by its full and proper name and should thus be labeled “dicks.”

13. “You want to get a pizza cone?”

Pizza cone? What? No. GET OUT OF MY FACE!

14. Cashier: “OK. One slice of cheese pizza. That’ll be $6.57.”


A pizza slice is great. But not $6.57 great. That’s a crime.

15. “You should try soaking up the grease with a napkin. That can’t be good for you.”


You should try minding your own goddamn business. This is between the pizza and I.

16. “Oooh. Let’s get broccoli as a topping!”


It is perfectly OK to defriend anyone who utters these words.

17. With some side eye and a hint of douchiness: “Are you eating pizza for breakfast?”


My pizza can kick your granola bar’s ass any day of the week.

18. “I hate pizza.”

Comedy Central

Who… the flying fuck… are you?

Pizza is not just food. Pizza is life. If you hate pizza, you’re hating life.


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