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21 Compelling Reasons Why You Should Smoke Weed On Christmas

Waking-and-baking on Christmas morning might be the best high-dea yet, and here’s why.

1. You will unwrap gifts with such wonderment and your parents will think you are so grateful.

Yooooo, mommmmm. These Christmas socks are sooooooo soooooooft on my feeeeeets.

2. Christmas lights blinking everywhere will become ONE GIANT LIGHT SHOW.

3. Childhood Christmas TV specials will never be the same.

Rudolph The Ripped Reindeer amiright!?

4. Looking out at the snow will arouse incredibly deep and self-reflecting thoughts.

You are Robert Frost.

5. And you might come to some groundbreaking Christmas conspiracy conclusions.

Dude, for Santa to hit every house in the world, his sleigh would have to be going at like 650 miles per hour which is 3000x THE SPEED OF SOUND. I CALL BULLSHIT.

Also, if you rearrange the letters in “Santa”… that’s right: “SATAN.”

6. Playing in snow will feel like the very first time. But, you know, BETTER.

wow much fluffy
very snow
omg such white

7. “All I Want For Christmas Is You” will somehow become even more magical than it already is.

8. Lounging in a onesie will somehow become more cozy than it already is.

9. Spending time with family might actually be enjoyable this year.

Well, at least for you.


11. Holiday cookies: ENHANCED.

12. Hot chocolate: ENHANCED.

13. Peppermint anything: ENHANCED.

14. Cinnabons: ENHANCED.

16. Roast chicken: ENHANCED.

17. Cranberry stuffing balls: ENHANCED.

19. Pigs-in-a-blanket skewers: ENHANCED.

20. Alcoholic cider: ENHANCED and CROSS-FADED.

21. Fruitcake: ENHAN—oof, no. It’s still gross.

So if you’re looking to take your holiday spirits to new heights this year…

Participate in the jolliest puffing-and-passing ritual.

And have a very Merry Kush-mas, everyone!

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