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23 Signs Your Cat Actually Owns You

You can’t remember the last time you used a computer. All you do nowadays is watch a cat while she sits on your hands.


You haven’t fully processed the fact that your cat’s demands have become increasingly elaborate in nature:

Your shower does not belong to you anymore:

And neither does your toilet:

Even the dog understands that everyone else in the house is a second-class citizen:

Your cat interrupts you while you’re working because she “didn’t like the way your face looked”:

Even your attempts to be accommodating are peremptorily rejected:

You’ve long since given up telling him that he can’t just sit anywhere he wants:

You may pet her, but she will let you know when it has become tiresome:

Your laundry isn’t properly “clean” until it is completely covered in cat hair:

Your hair is a plaything:

You have come to realize that the “games” you and your cat play together aren’t very fun at all:

Your morning ritual is a humiliating misery:

Your dinner is not really your own.

You are reconciled to daily indignities such as having your evening snack used as a face-warmer:

The constant. COMPLAINING.

And the constant sense that you are being judged, laughed at, and basically dismissed as a person:

You have come to accept petty thievery as just a thing that happens to you sometimes:

The only time when you are appreciated at all is when you are performing a service:

But you can expect severe displeasure if you ever have the audacity to get tired of it:

(via thebloggess)

Your privacy is no longer even remotely sacred:

And your life is an unending series of increasingly absurd degradation:

And, after all that, your cat still blanks you in public:

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