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There’s A $1 Million Bounty On Tim Tebow’s Virginity

1. Subhuman infidelity fetishists want to give you $1 million to have sex with Tim Tebow, if you can prove it.

Let’s walk through this video frame-by-frame.

3. “Hit ‘LIKE’ if you think Tebow masterbates! [sic]” YOU CAN’T MAKE ME DO THAT.

4. Say hi to Angel Tim Tebow.

5. One of these things is not like the other…

6. Ever wondered what Tim Tebow’s v-card looked like? Why were you wondering about that?

8. Shaft-polishing jokes about crucifixes. The Taiwanese Animation people, everyone!

9. This is how sex works.

Subtitles here read: “Although it is nearly impossible for an attractive pro athlete to hold on to his virginity, it is equally impossible for a homeschooled child to lose it.”

10. Mama and Papa Tebow to the rescue.

11. And, for the clincher: Tim Tebow stiff-arming hordes of women as Cupid arrows rain down around him.

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