So it’s Thursday and you’re planning all the things you’re going to do this weekend. Maybe go out Friday night, yoga on Saturday and a few too many mimosas with that friend that just gets you (you’re so bad!), and relax on Sunday to prep for the work week. Yes, all of it!
Here are the 7 stages you go through in order to do none of that.
Okay, it’s Friday and work is OUT. You need to go home and rejuvenate yourself for this awesome weekend full of adventures. It was a long work week and it’s early anyway, starting the weekend now would be really lame. Put your feet up, finish that open bottle of wine and text your friends to make those plans. Perfect.
Whoa, wine always makes you sleepy. Okay, it’s 6:30pm and there is way more than enough time for a quick nap. Your friends haven’t texted you back yet anyway. People don’t go out until 10pm or later and you’re used to going to bed early for work. You owe this nap to yourself and more importantly to your friends.
You slept through your 8:30pm alarm and it’s now 10:15pm. You have 6 missed texts from your friends and now you really have to consider your priorities. If you go out now you won’t leave until 11pm (at best), which means you won’t get there until midnight and probably won’t get home until 4am or later. You have yoga tomorrow! That’s way more important than going out tonight. Your body is your temple remember? It’s decided. You’ll go to bed at a reasonable hour tonight to be ready for tomorrow.
It’s now 2:30am and you just started another episode of something on Netflix. You didn’t mean to stay up this late but it happened. You’ll have to skip yoga tomorrow because it wouldn’t be worth paying for a session when you’re not at your best. You’ve been needing to save money anyway. Now that you think about it your knee kind of hurts and you don’t want to further injure yourself. You heard about somebody that did that once. This is for the best.
Okay, you snoozed an hour past your alarm but you actually kind of planned for that. You know yourself too well. It’s only 10am and you have all day to do things. Maybe yesterday didn’t go as planned but you’re easy breezy and have already decided to just go where this weekend takes you. Wipe off those chips that are stuck to your shirt and go take a shower. You’ll feel much better after.
It’s 5pm and you are still at home. It’s only Saturday and you have the whole evening left. You realize that this weekend just turned into a YOU weekend and you actually really needed it. You probably can’t think of the last time you spent the weekend with yourself. Maybe you’ll rent a movie or make an awesome dinner for yourself. Wow, the universe really does work itself out.
Sunday rolls around and you fell asleep last night with one hand in a Goldfish bag and the other holding your phone. It’s time to call that one friend that is the closest thing to a clone that exists. This friend probably lives in another state and did the exact same thing you did this weekend. Nothing. This is the part where you admit to each other all the lies you came up with to get out of doing things YOU planned. Then you both realize that you’re never going to change and you’re totally okay with it. Now go to CVS and get more snacks.