The 5 Stages Of Grief Of Getting Inside The Subway Car With No AC

1. It’s a July heat wave, and the subway platform is like a new age sweat lodge and you’re about to start having visions.

2. The train pulls up with a whoosh of hot air.

3. Oh! Look at this! An empty car! You’ll get a seat during morning rush, what amazing luck!

4. Yay! Awesome!

5. Yesssss

6. You step inside. Wait….

7. Oh no….. is it….. could it be…..?

8. IT’S THE CAR WITH NO AIR CONDITIONING.

9. You attempt to retreat.

10. “Stand clear of the closing doors.” You’re trapped.

12. Stage 1: Shock

NO NO NO NO NO WHAT????

13. Stage 2: Disbelief

THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING. HOW CAN THE SUBWAY NOT HAVE AIR CONDITIONING?

14. Stage 3: Anger

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK POOLS OF SWEAT ARE COLLECTING IN MY SHIRT. I’M SUCH A DUMMY.

15. Stage 4: Bargaining

PLEASE, GOD, IF YOU LET ME OFF THIS CAR I PROMISE GIVE THOSE BREAKDANCING “SHOWTIME, SHOWTIME” KIDS A DOLLAR EVERY TIME.

16. Stage 5: Acceptance and sweating

MOIST. I AM MOIST. MOIST IS ME.

17. At the next stop, get off and run to the a full cold car.

18. Thank you for riding with MTA New York City transit.