Some things are better left unsaid. Especially when it’s between me and my Mom
As we spend this Mother’s Day weekend, we get to know more about our friends via social media platforms. Perhaps for just the second or third time, we get to see photos of our “friends” and their mothers.
Each mother is unique in her own way. Some have battled cancer. Others have raised several children as a single parent. There are also some that have that “cookie cutter” normal life with a white-picket fence, money and a golden retriever.
My Mom never experienced any of that. Her battle is a little different than the mothers of my friends (both IRL and via social media).
Despite every obstacle that every mother has faced when raising children, moms tend to find that special way to connect with their children.
My Mom was born in India, and has been hard of hearing since day one. At the time, this was considered a major disability.
Many would have written her off during her youth, but my Mom’s family believed in her strength and her persistence to not only be a great person, but one that would live a fairly normal life.
Over the years, she’s been able to improve her hearing by 5-10 percent with the use of hearing aids.
My parents met in 1978 and were later married that year. Leaving everything she had ever known and loved in India, she moved with my Dad to London (where he lived). And yes, it was an “arranged” marriage.
My Mom moved to a foreign country, took a chance on changing her life completely, and did so fearlessly.
About two years in, I was born. The details around that are not as important as what took place the next several years. These are things that I didn’t even learn to fully appreciate in my childhood.
From the moment I was born, she wasn’t able to hear my subtle cries at night or even my first words. She relied on her motherly instincts to make sure I wasn’t choking while sleeping, or needed a diaper change.
Baby monitors didn’t exist.
As I grew older, she was able to hear my voice as I learned to talk slower and louder. Not to the same level as if someone were to speak to me face-to-face.
Despite all of these things, she found different ways to help raise me. She utilized all of her resources (non-verbal communication, smiles, frowns, my Dad, touch, etc.) to help make sure I grew up a normal child.
You could say that most of my childhood was normal, and that would never have been the case without my mother.
Years later, I graduated from college and moved away. I’d speak to my Dad on the phone regularly, and every blue moon, my Mom would want to talk to me. Dad put the phone on speaker so that her hearing aids wouldn’t set off a really annoying feedback tone.
I didn’t really talk much to my Mom when I lived far away. It wasn’t because of a lack of love, or closeness.
We’ve always had that unspoken connection…and THAT is the bond between a mother and a child.